* Made of Glass *

Last weekend I went to see the Chihuly exhibit at the MFA. It was stunning. All of his glass sculptures were presented in dark black rooms with dramatic lighting and mirrored reflections, so the colors exploded. At first you are so amazed by the color, but then when you get close, you can really see the details of the textures, and the flow of the shapes. I couldn't help but think about what must have gone into creating these amazing works.

In one of the rooms was a long pathway full of intricate glass flora that immediately brought to mind an alice in wonderland sensibility. It was difficult for me to not get right inside it and start rolling around. I wanted to live in there forever. But, of course, it is glass, and rolling around in it would not be the wisest of choices, so I restrained myself. Below are some of the photos I took with my phone, but it doesn't do the feeling justice of standing right next to these sculptures.

While I was there I couldn't help but think about all the amazing museums I'm going to be visiting on my trip, and the "other worldliness" that I'll be feeling walking around these ancient cities. I still can't get over the fact that I have less than a month before I leave. I find myself sitting and staring blankly at a wall, not willing to accept that I'm actually doing this. Truth is though, I bought the tickets, I have the eurail pass, and aside from a bit more research, and maybe a wardrobe trial pack, I have nothing preventing me from going. Only my ego, where all my fears and insecurities live telling me this is a stupid idea, and I'm a loser for not just trying to live and work like everyone else in the world. Why do I need a 2 month long "vacation"?

But, I'm not looking at this trip as a vacation, although I know that is what it seems like to many people I talk to about this trip who are unaware of what I've been going through the past several years. This trip is a journey back to Maria. A necessary adventure to realize who I am, what I want, and find the strength, beauty, creativity, and compassion I know I have. Yes, I could have done this here in America, but traveling Europe is the jolt of the unknown and the unseen that will let me explore myself in ways I wouldn't be able to if I just stayed in Boston and meditated.

I need this trip like a child needs nutrition, to nourish my soul, my mind, and my body.

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